Here's To Silly!

So, here's the low-down on the ho-down (I really feel like putting a "w" after "ho," just to make it match, but then it would spell "how" and that wouldn't make any sense).  Apparently I'm sort of an attachment-parenting type.  This is not something I planned on.  I remember discussing birth plans with a friend of mine, waaaaay before Bean was twinkling in my eye, and being completely flummoxed when she asked me what parenting methods I planned to use.  Um, how should I know?  That was, like, light years away.  I had spent years deciding just how I wanted my birth experience to be (sort of like little girls who plan their weddings for decades but fail to consider the realities of a real-life marriage).  Turns out, it was just as important, if not more so, as considering choices like epidural? hypnobirthing? midwife? hospital? and t'ings o' dat sort.

While pregnant, I did start to sort of investigate stuff like that.  One website had a particularly strong impact - Hathor certainly has a forceful way of putting things.  Most certainly an attachment-parenting advocate, she renders all other ideas as essentially ridiculous, at the very least disdainable.  I specifically remember her pointing out all kinds of "detachment-parenting," which included strollers.  Well, when you put it like that, of course I don't want any part of it.  She did get to be a little much for me and I had to unsubscribe to her feed before Bean came on the scene, if only to save us both from the intense scrutiny I felt like it put me under (Sure, sure, it's just a website so the scrutiny was self-inflicted.  No matter, it had to stop).  Still, the phrase "detachment-parenting" has stuck with me.  I didn't start out looking to use a sling to make a statement or to fulfill any hippie fantasy.  It just made more sense to me and fit in with my style and ideals.  And I have loved it.  So has Bean.

Then I got the heat-rash-from-hell and had to reconsider.  After some to-do, we gratefully received a stroller two weeks ago from Wonderman's ever-generous sister.  I thought that I was being so pragmatic and was neatly eating my humble pie, when I realized that I had actually been quite selfish.  I got the stroller just for me and assumed Bean would love it since she used to love the car - same concept, sort of, right?  I honestly barely considered how she would feel about it.  It just seemed like an alternative mode of transport.  No biggie.

Alas, turns out that after six-plus months of this attachment-parenting mumbo-jumbo, it actually works and babies get attached.  Also, it seems that right around six months is when many babies begin to deal with separation anxiety, even babies who have been "detachment" parented all along.  Needless to say, there were many, many tears when we introduced the stroller, only partially abated when Wonderman danced in front of the stroller making silly noises and pulling funny faces (Have I told you what awesome buddies they are?  I love it).

So, my fear of blending in with all the other mommies with strollers?  Not a concern.  I became the mommy wearing my baby in a sling, pushing an empty stroller.  You know how I love to embrace the ridiculous, right?  Yup, nothing like a crazy white woman to make the Dominicans stare.  So, we've tried to break Bean in slowly.  Some trips in the stroller, some in the sling.  Sometimes managing half a trip in the stroller and coming home in the sling (Um, how grateful am I for a sling that packs small?  Uber for sure).  Every day Bean gets a little bit better about the concept of strolling.  Today she did A-MA-ZING.  She was so calm the whole way.  Two trips to campus and back.  Instead of crying, she just made that little extended "uh" sound that so nicely exhibits the bumps in the road (of which there are many around these parts).  When she did get a little tired and hungry (do I have to confess to my negligence here and tell you how I kept her out way longer than I should have and naps weren't really on the radar, nor was nursing for quite a bit of the time we were out [for all my rantings about public nursing, you'd think I'd make it a point to do it when I had the chance!]?), she just whimpered lightly and then fell fast asleep.  It was glorious.  I gave thanks for the relatively quick adjustment period and began to make all kinds of future strolling plans.

And then tonight I realized a few things about heat rash (Well, the realizations have been building, but the final and most important was tonight at bath time).  1 - Mine did not even come close to disappearing with the introduction of the stroller.  2 - Now that Bean can sit up and so I sling her on my hip, instead of belly-to-belly, none of her body-heat is touching where my gross rash even is.  3 - The heat rash that I've been noticing on her back (right above her diaper so it kinda looks like diaper rash but it actually stops where the diaper begins so I've been pretty confused by it), IS CAUSED BY THE GOSH-DARN STROLLER.  Seriously, on what planet is this fair?  She gets warm in there, but I didn't think it was that warm.  But that is the only thing that has changed within the time frame of her rash development.  So, now I'm torn.  Do I sling it despite the heat, except for when I want to go grocery shopping or to the pool?  Or do I just try to pack an ice back wrapped in a blanket behind her and maintain our strolling success?  Will the rash that I have (Which is only dissipating a bit now with loads of steroid cream) re-rear it's horrendous head?  Whose rash takes precedence?

Conclusion:  There is no "Easy-Parenting" style.

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First off - strollers.  We bought an umbrella stroller from some friends who were leaving the island so we would have "something," just in case.  I tried it out a few weeks back.  Bean loved it.  Until she got absolutely sun-fried.  I wisely saw some pros and some cons (the decision to use it came about because I needed to go to campus and help out with a fundraiser and needed more movement than the sling would give me but wouldn't have anywhere to put Bean, so I figured it would work to just have her hang out sitting in the stroller for a while.  That part of it worked like a charm.  So did the quietly strolling her to sleep while we waited for Wonderman to finish his business up on campus so he could walk home with us).  Still, the flaming red skin kept at bay all further thoughts of strolling.  Until I got the heat rash from hell all down my front after wearing her in the sling through a long, hot day (I mean, everyone with boobs gets at least a little boob sweat, right?  The sling takes that to the Nth degree and then gets it running all down my belly and then holds it there).  I realized that another semester (in the summer) here without a stroller might not go well.  I contacted my sister-in-law who had offered us her jogging stroller clear back in December (I turned it down, holding firmly to my hippie ideals and thinking I didn't want to "deal with" a stroller), who told me she had kept it, just waiting for me to want it.  Ooooh, that made me feel angry? sheepish? GRATEFUL.  Anyway, it's on its way (with a camera in its pocket - hooray!!!).  It's big and bulky and folds down to a very small size (i.e. about equivalent to the size of Rhode Island).  It's exactly what I imagined I would never own.  But it's exactly what I need (just today as I walked home with a sleeping baby in the sling and about 30 pounds of groceries in my hands I thought, I really need a stroller, even if it's just to put the groceries in - they can make the 20 min. walk home seem so much longer).

I'm already having separation anxiety, just thinking about putting Bean in a stroller instead of a sling (this has made me wonder if attachment parenting in my case is more about me not being able to be separated from Bean that about her needing me).  I can't imagine having her that far away from me for that long, that often.  I am, quite literally, very attached to her.  I also have a strange sense of pride when I get asked "You don't have a stroller, do you?  I've never seen you use one."  I also know that I get recognized because of my beautiful sling and the adorable baby with the aqua-colored sunhat walking all over town, if not for my own stunning beauty.  Once I get a stroller, I'll just blend in with all the other mommies.  The American mommies, anyway.  Very few Dominicans use prams, as they call them.  They don't wear their babies, either.  They just carry them.  That seems difficult and wildly impractical to me, but it is the way of things.  Anyway, I'll only have my own good looks to set me apart, and in the tropics in the summer time, even those get muddled a bit.  Sigh.  Here's to the ladies who stroll!

Conclusion:  Humble Pie isn't nearly as good as dutch apple or lemon meringue, but apparently it's quite nutritious.

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So, since you know me so well, you know that I love to play with stuff.  Words, mostly (I was lamenting just the other day to Wonderman that I'll probably be that mom the Bean rolls her eyes at with some regularity because I make so many lame puns and think I'm hilarious.  Sad, but not sad enough to stop.  Poor Bean).  Parody also makes me smile.  Here's two fun things that do just that.

1 - You know how I was talking about me becoming an activist?  Turns out there's a better word for it.  I'm a LACTIVIST.  Awesome.  I think I need a t-shirt.

2 - You know I love my sling?  I know Beyonce' is  a little over-parodied, but I couldn't help myself.  It made me laugh.  Maybe it will make you laugh, too.
Conclusion:  As serious as I am, I can't take myself too seriously.  Nor can you.  Unless I'm threatening to punch you, then maybe I'm serious.

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So, I mentioned earlier (this is normally where I would post a link to the "earlier," but it was just the post before this, so I'm just not) that I love my sling.  Now I have pictures to show you how great it is:
 I know that kind of looks like a boobie-shot, but it's also representative of how cozy it is for Bean.  She falls asleep on walks ALL THE TIME.  It's sweet.  And sometimes a godsend since she's not a great napper.  If all else fails, go for a walk.  This is basically the Dominican equivalent of taking a fussy baby for a car ride.  I am the family car. 
 Can you see what beautiful material it's made out of?  It makes me feel kind of fancy just wearing it.  And the long tail part that you can't see is lovely and feels like a totally chic scarf/accessory of some kind as it floats gently in the breeze.  It also works wonders as protection from the rain (for Bean, not so much me) and extra sun protection.  The site where I found it said the tail can be used as a nursing cover, but we all know I've sworn off those.  Meh.  So far, so good.
And this one had to be included because I feel almost exactly how I did when I was taking belly shots of my pregnant self.  She already is so big I cannot imagine how she ever fit inside me.  She is also a lot of fun and I am glad she is outside me.

All this being said, I have to confess, I have already wondered if I made a huge mistake by not bringing a stroller with me.  One of my favorite moments recently came when I mentioned to a friend (and mother of a small baby) down here that I didn't have a stroller.  She just looked at me in silence for a few moments, with a look of what I always imagined a stupor of thought to be, then it turned to a slightly horrified brow-wrinkle. 

"You don't have a stroller?" 

I laughed at her mainstream reaction to my crazy hippie ways.  But inside, I wondered what I had gotten myself into.  Bean (as mentioned before) got a burn her first day out.  She has gotten heat rash a few different times on her face and chest.  You know, where she is pressed against me and we both sweat and sweat.  And sweat.  She is a very effective heater.  I learned this when she was inside; turns out she also warms me well from the outside (and, like I keep telling myself, it's not even hot yet - eeek!).  She is no light-weight (Wonderman and I, both being good-sized, solid people, have made a solid baby).  Carrying her makes it oh-my-goodness so much more difficult to carry anything else.  Grocery shopping was tough before, with all the walking and no-car-having.  Now?  It's an adventure, to say the least. 

Still, when I talked to another friend, and avid stroller-user, about all the places she can't get to with her stroller, I felt great (and maybe a little superior, because I'm lame like that) about being able to strap Bean to my chest and go wherever I want.  I haven't yet gone on any of the hikes or island adventures, but I am pretty sure I could, and I like that.  Turns out, I'm not positive that all the baby-wearing hippies imagined said baby-wearing in such a warm place.  A stroller may come in handy sometimes.  Meh.  I still figure strollers are for sissies (I can say this because we've looked at our finances and there is no way we'll be able to get a stroller down here anytime soon [because, ps, a stroller that can handle our "off-roading" situation would cost a fortune], so it will be a trial by fire, I'll be wearing Bean no matter what).  Good thing I love my sling.

Conclusion:  All roads have their challenges.  Embrace your choices and move on.

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So, I got no pictures so far.  I'll work on that.  Still, I just wanted to report on a few things. 

1 - I know I'm 12 days late, but everyone seems to be posting about their New Year's resolutions.  I don't really make those, and if I did, I think that September is a good time to do it.  I read that somewhere, and it made sense to me, what with school starting and the seasons changing and all.  Still, I feel a little bit like making some change for good.  My goal is to floss my teeth daily.  That's been my goal for 12 days now and I have yet to do it once.  Nevertheless, the goal remains.  I thought maybe if I shared it with the internets, it'd give me some accountability.  I used to be good at getting my floss on every day, but I've lost it and I blame it fully on marriage.  I love Wonderman and all, but he put a serious crimp in my hygiene style.  This is the year to conquer that.  I hope.

2 - Can I just write a glowing, rose-colored glasses bit about nursing?  First I will say that I haven't yet experienced the chapped nipples or mastitis or all the things that make nursing hard (although pumping is definitely not my friend).  I'm sure I'll get my turn.  That being said (recognizing that my experience is limited): I love being able to feed Bean with just me, the way we were built to do it.  It's beautiful and incredible and I can't imagine why anyone would say formula is easier because I can't tell you how many times Bean has started to get a little crazy and I just whip out a boob and she's fine (too crass?  sorry).  Love it.  Don't love nursing pads, but I'll take it.  Also, I think I am officially the dirty hippie who nurses sans cover.  Even at church, where I was sure I would always use the cover.  My cousin made me an amazing cover that I used at first, as I was getting the hang of things.  I am grateful for it.  I haven't used it in weeks.  It's so much easier this way.  I think I'm pretty modest and  no one sees anything too exciting and it just feels so natural.  Sigh.  Dirty hippie.

3 - On another hippie note, I have been wearing Bean as we walk around the island.  The Baby Bjorn is good, but she seems a little contorted or something.  Plus, she got a wicked sunburn after just one trip to campus (don't tell my mother-in-law).  I switched it out for this sling that my sister gave me.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  I love it.  More comfortable.  More cute.  More Bean sleeping sweetly.  More better all around.  Ok, I still love the Bjorn and I know it has its place, but it's going to the back of the closet for a while.

4 - I love my cloth diapers.  I bought these and they work great.  After using disposables for all our travels, I am glad to be back to cloth.  They never come nearly as close to the blowouts or leakage as do the plastic diapers.  I have done a couple diaper laundry loads here on the island and they still work great.  I was worried about our washer being lame or the detergent not being good enough or them not drying or something else I hadn't yet imagined.  All is well.  And this has kept rash at bay so far (I know we're just beginning, but still, I think it's good stuff)

The end of me reporting on stuff today.

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