My last visit to the doctor was quite empowering. I said "no" to something routine. And I'm fine. So is Bean.
So, I read a lot of what I call (especially in conversations with Wonderman) my "crazy hippie blogs." Lately most of these have to do with childbirth or child-rearing. There is a lot of talk about empowering women to take back the choices regarding their pregnancies and births. Discussions range from the mild to the extreme - from how to have a conscientious hospital birth to the at-home, unassisted birth. The common thread seems to be essentially like proselyting to let women know that they are in charge of what happens to them and they can choose what care to seek or accept. So much of my experience has been hypothetical, as the doctor I've been seeing for seven months is not the doctor that will be around when Bean is born. I have all kinds of things to ask my US doc and all kinds of ideas about how my natural hospital birth will be, but none of it seemed particularly relevant just yet. I just go in monthly, pee in a cup, stand on a scale, and tell the doc I feel fine.
However, about three weeks ago was the time I was supposed to have the glucose tolerance test done. I didn't want it done here, mostly because I have had BAD experiences with the nurses here drawing my blood. I really didn't think about it past that. I was planning on going back to Utah, so I told Dr. Dominica that I would do it there. Then I stayed. It didn't come up in conversation for a while and I "forgot" about it. Then this week, Dr. Dominica got a worried look and said "You were supposed to do that at 28 weeks. I'm going to call and see if you can still do it." I inwardly rolled my eyes. I knew it was on the list of "optional" tests (at least according to the crazy hippies). I didn't have any concerns or reasons to be concerned. I didn't want to do it. Dr. D. came back with a relieved look. "You can still do it." Like a three-year-old I said, "But why?" She tried to explain that it would determine if I had gestational diabetes (duh) and that it was just part of the prenatal testing that was done. "But what would happen if we found out I had gestational diabetes?" She explained that I would be put on insulin and marked as high-risk. Since I'm fine and I feel fine and I definitely want to avoid any unnecessary risk labels, I said "I don't think I want to do it." Dr. D. was great and didn't try to convince me of anything. She just smiled and said it was my choice. Then she told me that if I had done it, I would have had to take the one hour (each way) bus ride to Roseau and spend a couple hours at the lab, because it wasn't a test they could do here. For that reason alone I was glad I said no.
It was a small thing. I really am glad to avoid the blood draws, the gross orange drink, and the travel time, but it wouldn't have been a big deal to do it. I am confident it would've come back negative. Still, I felt elated to recognize that I had been able to be in touch enough with my body, my baby, and my Heavenly Father to make a wise decision for us even if it didn't go along with the generally accepted norm. I also think this was an important step in helping me realize the power I have to make decisions for what is best for me and for Bean. As long as I can remain in tune, we're gonna be all right. And I may be a crazy hippie yet.
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