Saturday, January 23, 2010

Opposites Attract

1:17 PM

The other night I laid in bed awake, completely unable to sleep.  Wonderman and I had just had a discussion that I found deeply troubling.  He, on the other hand, was beginning to softly snore.

Randomly and for no particular reason, we had been talking about names for our future children.  Don't get excited, the babies are still just twinkles in our eyes, nothing cooking anywhere else.  However, it is kind of a fun future-planning, castles-in-the-air kind of activity.  At all the names I suggested, Wonderman laughed a little.  I, of course, cannot give examples here because, like every self-respecting woman, I am certain that my names are the best ever and I can't have anyone stealing my ideas.  Still, for purposes of general description, I will simply say that I find old-fashioned and unique names appealing.  I'm not quite as uniqueness-bound as TAMN, but I definitely don't want my kids to have to be known by First Name Last Name, because there are three others with that First Name.  That is kind of lame.  They should be alone in their classes, as far as names go.  He told me it sounded like I wanted to set my kids up for a lifetime of teasing.  I tried to explain the generation of made-up ridiculous names they would be born into, but he didn't seem to comprehend that.  Sigh.

Wonderman did not offer any of his own suggestions.  I guess he hasn't been planning all the details of child-raising for most of his life, quite like I have.  (PS, this is secret, ok?  I usually try to maintain the persona of that woman who is super cool and super intelligent and has all kinds of mad goals connected to education and career who will probably eventually have children, but is in no way basing any part of her life on it or planning around it.  Ok?  Pinkie swear?  Good.)

Anyways (wink), I realized as we talked that Wonderman and I are driven by completely opposite incentives.  Where I find value in standing out and being different, he generally just wants to blend in.  I am mostly aware of this in how we dress.  It really hit home when I bought him a purple dress shirt last year for Christmas, and with his bright blues eyes I knew it would make him look HOT.  I think he wore it once, just to make me happy.  I, on the other hand, wear all kinds of things that are not . . . shall we say, entirely conventional.  I consider it major progress that I no longer consider it a threat to my individuality to shop somewhere like Old Navy. 

I promise, this connects to baby names.  I don't think Wonderman would mind if our children share their names with half their classmates.  Perhaps it's because his name is not wildly unique and he turned out great.  I don't even have any idea when these kids will show up, but I'm already concerned about the rounds we'll be going before we can fill out the birth certificates.

Conclusion:  Opposites attracting is a romantic notion, but it definitely has it's pitfalls.  But maybe if he can sleep on it, it means that I will eventually win this fight.  I'm going to count on that.


Eva said...

My Brother and his wife have a new baby. Last I heard they hadn't decided on a name because the name they love is #1 for baby girls this year (and their child is a girl, maybe if she'd been a boy they would have gone ahead with it) and that gave them pause.
When I told the Mr about this he said "If you really like the name why does in matter how popular it is? I would have liked to have more kids with my name around,"
Then I brought up the problem of being known in your school class by your last initial and he just shrugged.
I'm on your side of the issue. Unfortunately, the nick name I gave my daughter turned out to be wildly popular among girls her age.
Be warned; old fashioned unconventional names are the new Jennifer. Tread carefully lest the same thing happen to you.

Heart Mommy said...

I got it. Will You list all of the names that did not go over. I will start. There is a little boy named Dallin Lavall Lee. Say it out loud, now say it again. Do you here it? And should you have twins try to avoid Jackson and Ascott... As you might slip while calling them to supper by yelling Jack Asc.... Then it might be a surprised to find that Neveah is a new extremely popular name by people who want to spell heaven the wrong way.(I know two baby girls with this name)... If there is one thing I am learning that Ry informs me of often is that she dislikes sharing her name with boys. There are more boys with her name than girls and it is troubling to a five year old girl. I messed up big time for giving her a unisex name rather than a standard girls name. I guess she could go by her middle name. We all know Gator is happy with his name-nick...LOL

Andrea, the collector said...

Ah-ha. Such complications. May this be the largest of your parenting worries. And may you win, of course! (Unless you are stealing one of my kids names. Then may Wonderman win.)

w.v.: siness: (n) a characteristic consisting of wicked smooth talking; the ability to get one's way and make things happen by plying others with sinful indulgences

Katrina said...

Names are just the tip of the proverbial Iceberg. Wait until you begin discussing parenting styles for your teenagers. During one such discussion with my husband I came to the realization that I am Satan in my parenting style, "You will make good decisions;you will not be an idiot! Kate will not be a cheerleader!You will go on missions and you will get married in the Temple" John is more like God, "Let them make choices for themselves and be who they are going to be."

Horsley Family said...

oh, the name game- it's so annoying. i am with you on wanting something more unusual, not made up, and not ending in "ley" (that's just my personal pet peeve), and i am usually drawn to more simple old fashioned names as well. but as Eva mentioned... old fashioned names are the new jennifer. boo. it's a tricky game. i'd say just go with what you really like... no matter what else. the only safe way, really, is to go with something classic, right? I could see you with a Henry, or Meg?